


kokoblocked

by peaceminusweareone



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Poor attempts at humor, author is unsure of ships, everything is chanyeols fault, groupchat, lapslock, slightly OOC, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-09 10:44:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12886200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peaceminusweareone/pseuds/peaceminusweareone
Summary: chanyeol makes a groupchat and everything is his fault





	1. the chanyeol has an idea chapter

user chanyall has added: sehunniesaysrawr, ksoup, xingie, bhadbhabiebbh, kjunmyeon, minsocks, dancedancebby, and jongdidydamn to a groupchat

chanyall: hello

chanyall: so i was thinking

ksoup: thats dangerous

chanyall: stfu

chanyall: anyways

chanyall: we needed a groupchat

minsocks: needed is a strong word, yeol

chanyall: WILL ANYONE LET ME FINISH

xingie: pls let yeollie finish :(

chanyall: i knew i could rely on you

xingie: (´ ∀ ` *)

kjunmyeon: can you please finish what you were saying, chanyeol?

chanyall: OKAY

chanyall: we needed a groupchat bc we never communicate by means other than screaming through the walls

bhadbhabiebbh: dont forget the passive aggressive refrigerator notes

jongdidydamn: never forget the passive aggressive refrigerator notes

minsocks: why dont you two just fucking @ me

bhadbhabiebbh: @minsocks

jongdidlydamn: @minsocks

ksoup: [BREAKING] SM Subunit, EXO-CBX, to disband due to internal conflicts.

sehunniesaysrawr: what the fuck

sehunniesaysrawr: does this mean ill finally get some fucking lines

bhadbhabiebbh: not a chance noodle man

chanyall: i instantly regret everything

dancedancebby: can i add taeminie

bhadbhabiebbh: jongin culture is not being able to go five minutes without having taemins dick down your throat

ksoup: jongin go five minutes without talking about your dildo with legs challenge

kjunmyeon: leave nini alone

kjunmyeon: cant you text taemin by himself?

dancedancebby: ig...

sehuniesaysrawr: thank fuck

xingie: why dont you want taeminie in here, you guys?

bhadbhabiebbh sent a gif

kjunmyeon: thats just a gif of rihanna thats not a reply

bhadbhabiebbh: yes tf it is

dancedancebby: anyways

dancedancebby: hyung can i add taeminie

jongdidydamn: you literally have 7 hyungs in this chat pls be specific

kjunmyeon: ^

dancedancebby: @chanyall can i add taeminie

chanyall: did he suddenly join EXO™

dancedancebby: ...

chanyall: if the answer is somehow yes, then you can add him

minsocks: someone is fiesty today

chanyall: YOU GUYS ARE ALREADY MAKING A MOCKERY OF MY GROUPCHAT

minsocks: have you met these fuckers what else did you expect?

xingie:(╯︵╰,)

minsocks: not you yixing

xingie: whew okay

minsocks: just assume every negative thing i say about everyone else, doesnt include you

xingie: ♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡

minsocks: why cant you guys be more like yixing

bhadbhabiebbh: WhY cAnT yOu GuYs Be MoRe LiKe YiXiNg

minsocks has removed bhadbhabiebbh from groupchat

sehunniesaysrawr: we thank god for the block button

minsocks:^

dancedancebby:^^

kjunmyeon: hyung please add him back hes blowing my phone up

minsocks: thats not my problem

kjunmyeon: would you like it to be

minsocks: was that a threat

kjunmyeon: bitchitmightbe.jpeg

ksoup: yall got popcorn?

jongdidydamn: i do but im within strangling range of a certain shoeman

minsocks: fuck you jongdae

xingie: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

kjunmyeon added bhadbhabiebbh to groupchat

kjunmyeon: all of you are terrible

sehunniesaysrawr: :(

kjunmyeon: not you sehunnie

sehunniesaysrawr: :)

bhadbhabiebbh: need me a sugar daddy like that^

ksoup: i wish i never learned how to read

dancedancebby: so you could be like @chanyall?

jongdidydamn: mlgairhorn.mp3

chanyall has removed dancedancebby from groupchat

jongdidydamn: wow i guess you could say

jongdidydamn: he got

jongdidydamn: K O K O B L O C K E D


	2. the kinks and fire chapter

kjunmyeon: who stole my belt

kjunmyeon: jongdae i can see you reading this

jongdidydamn: i have no idea what youre talking about?

bhadbhabiebhh: you lost your belt?

kjunmyeon: yes

bhadbhabiebbh: i bet sehun is thankful for that

xingie: :O

jongdidydamn: I JSUT CHIOKDE

minsocks: oh goddamn baek really went there

kjunmyeon: can someone tell me what is so funny

bhadbhabiebbh: these walls are paper mache we hear everything

bhadbhabiebbh: kinky fuckers

sehunniesaysrawr has left groupchat

kjunmyeon: i hate everyone

kjunmyeon: yixing i see you typing, you aren't in this

xingie: ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

xingie: can i pls add nini back? i miss him

minsocks: we all live together, yixing

minsocks: but if itll make you happy

xingie: !!!!

xingie has added dancedancebby to groupchat

dancedancebby: if anyone but yixing had added me i wouldve left immediately

bhadbhabiebbh: glad to know where we stand jongin

dancedancebby: <3

bhadbhabiebbh: talk is cheap

bhadbhabiebbh: buy me diamonds

minsocks: oh nice baekhyun

minsocks: did you get that from twitter or pinterest

bhadbhabiebbh: first of all fuck you

bhadbhabiebbh: second of all it was instagram

jongdidydamn: like thats any better

ksoup: ^

bhadbhabiebbh:legend has it that soo only appears when an oppoutunity to make fun of me or chanyeol arises

ksoup: i mean

ksoup: you arent wrong

xingie: honesty is the best policy

xingie: also junmyeon have you found your belt

bhadbhabiebbh: i think the answer is pretty obvious, based on how quiet sehun is being

ksoup: you guys are so gross

dancedancebby: they really are

dancedancebby added sehunniesaysrawr to groupchat

dancedancebby: now we wait

jongdidydamn: cant you just let them be all 50 shades in peace

bhadbhabiebbh: absolutely not

ksoup: have you ever met him

bhadbhabiebbh: youre right but fuck you

jongdidydamn: so are we just gonna let junmyeon and sehun slide or?

xingie: ^

dancedancebby: i want answers

kjunmyeon: im back

bhadbhabiebbh: $10 says sehun wont be sitting down for a few hours

kjunmyeon: fuck off

xingie: oh

minsocks: oh fuck 

minsocks: this is interesting

jongdidydamn: you broke junmyeon congrats baek

kjunmyeon: no

kjunmyeon: nevermind

bhadbhabiebbh: when am i getting my money

jongdidydamn: uh you guys

jongdidydamn: can someone explain why theres a scorched block of dry ramen stuck to the bottom of a pot on the stove

ksoup: so thats where jongin and yixing went

xingie: it wasnt my fault! i was just trying to be a good hyung (￣Д￣；；)

ksoup: what happened

ksoup: @dancedancebby

dancedancebby: no one told me water was necessary

bhadbhabiebbh: oh

bhadbhabiebbh: my fucking god

dancedancebby: you act like youve never forgotten to add the water

bhadbhabiebbh: while i am one hell of an actor

bhadbhabiebbh: and i am hilarious

bhadbhabiebbh: i have never done anything that fucking stupid

kjunmyeon: so blowing up the microwave by putting in a METAL bowl, wasnt fucking stupid?

bhadbhabiebbh: THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OUR SECRET

ksoup: did you think we were all too stupid to catch on to the literal fire in our kitchen or

jongdidydamn: jongin did sleep through The Great Kitchen Fire of '14

dancedancebby: my proudest moment

xingie: that was awful

xingie: i can still smell the flaming chopsticks and rice if i try hard enough

minsocks: ^ i can still hear junmyeon screaming like a small child too

kjunmyeon: where is chanyeol

ksoup: dont jinx our luck

sehunniesaysrawr: "luck"

dancedancebby: sehun!

sehunniesaysrawr: jongin!

xingie: sehun!

sehunniesaysrawr: yixing!

dancedancebby: yixing!

jongdidydamn: sehun!

sehunniesaysrawr: dae!

ksoup: sehun!

chanyall: soo!

ksoup: ew

chanyall: :(

ksoup: just kidding, yeol

chanyall: !!!!

minsocks: are you guys done or

kjunmyeon: i hope so

bhadbhabiebbh: it got old really fast

sehunniesaysrawr: so did you but youre stil here

kjunmyeon: sehun.

sehunniesaysrawr: im sorry baek

ksoup: did yall just see the same shit i just saw or did i imagine it

minsocks: sehun actually listened to someone

minsocks: junmyeon must have a killer arm on him then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i thought i could make it at least three chapters without adding seho in but apparently, i was wrong

**Author's Note:**

> have some free garbage


End file.
